Why Gen Z Is Talking Less About Sex – And Why That Might Not Be Healthy

According to a recent EduBirdie survey, 55% of Gen Zers don’t discuss their sex life with friends at all. Meanwhile, Google searches for ‘How to talk about sex’ have jumped 126% in the past month (blame it on Valentine’s Day or the new season of Bridgerton).

Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., LCPC, NCC, a licensed counselor and relationship expert at Headway app, encourages Gen Z to start gossiping again. Here’s why (and how):

Break the taboo without breaking trust

Sharing your experiences with friends doesn’t equal disclosing explicit play-by-plays. Conversations about sex can be handled thoughtfully and respectfully for all involved. Open conversations can be thoughtful and respectful towards those present and absent in the conversation. In fact, being willing to talk about sex with your friends helps chip away at the awkwardness that still surrounds the topic for a lot of people. The more casually it’s mentioned, the less power the taboo holds. And casually doesn’t mean without respect.

Reflect through conversation

Talking about sex forces you to put feelings into words, and chatting about it with friends lets you do so in controlled conditions. Besides, having a conversation like that encourages you to look back at your preferences and desires in a way that goes beyond immediate gut feelings. Not to mention that a friend’s reflections on what you share might highlight patterns you didn’t notice on your own.

Build confidence for partner conversations

First, saying something out loud to your friends can help you gather courage for a later conversation with your partner. Discussing intimacy with close friends provides you with new, more functional language, plus it gives you time to rehearse what you want to say, which can build confidence. Over time, articulating boundaries and curiosity without freezing up becomes easier. Practice makes sexy, if that’s what they say.

Keeping sex strictly private may lead you to believe that there’s a single correct way of doing things. Conversations help deconstruct that myth through genuinely connecting with someone’s embodied experience. Hearing that one friend is thriving, another is confused, and another is opting out entirely makes room for a variety of POV-s, without shame.

When sex becomes the one topic that never enters the chat, everyone loses a very powerful tool for connection and for education. Sometimes, asking a trusted friend, “Hey, can I run something by you?” is the most radical thing you can do to begin breaking the taboos that keep us from talking about the intimate lives of our species.

Joanne, what do you think? Would you be interested in covering it? I’d be happy to provide more info or resources if needed.

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